Ash Lawrence

There are two kinds of people:

 

1. Those who play the game of life TO WIN.  (Take Action on what they KNOW.)
2. Those who play the game of life to NOT TO LOSE.  (Keep collecting more information and avoid taking Action.)

The reason why most people do not have what they want is because their sub-concious goal is not to get what they want, but to avoid failure and disappointment.  (Fear of failure) So they CHOOSE to do nothing.  They just read and study and accumulate more information.  

You always have a choice. You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to AVOID LOSING and live an unstable, stressful life of limitation in which, no matter how much you read and study stuff, you will never CONSISTENTLY get what you want, or..…

You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to WIN and DO WHAT YOU KNOW. When you do, your life will no longer be about survival, but about experiencing joy and abundance and creating anything you desire regardless of your current circumstances, the economy or any other perceived obstacle.

It's all about choice.... What are you choosing right now?

Use the 80/20 Rule for ATTITUDE-

The 80/20 rule is as applicable to
individual people.
Fully eighty percent of your success will
be determined by your attitude and only twenty percent by
your aptitude. Some people feel that attitude is ninety
percent of success in all human endeavours involving other
people, but we can quite comfortably use eighty percent as a
figure for the purposes of this article.

Develop a Positive Attitude - A positive mental attitude, or
a constructive and optimistic way of looking at yourself and
your work, goes hand in hand with success in every
field and in every market. The development of this
unshakable attitude of cheerfulness and enthusiasm is your
springboard to greatness as a person, no matter what is
going on around you.


Upgrade the Quality of Your Thinking - The quality of your
thinking determines the quality of your life. If you improve
the quality of your thinking, in any area, you improve the
quality of your life in that area. By using your mind, your
ability to think, you become a creator of circumstances
rather than a creature of circumstances. You move from being
powerless to being powerful. You determine everything that
happens to you by the way you think about it, in advance.
You may not be what you think you are, but what you think,
you are!

Change Your Inner Attitudes of Mind - The most rapid and
positive changes in your personality and your results
come about when you change your thinking about yourself and
your possibilities. When you reprogram your subconscious
mind so you feel a sense of unshakable optimism and self-
confidence, every part of your life begins improving
immediately. As William James of Harvard wrote in 1905, "The
greatest revolution of my generation is the discovery that
individuals, by changing their inner attitudes of mind, can
change the outer aspects of their lives."

Expect the Best - The very best people have an attitude
of calm, confident, positive self-expectation. They feel
good about themselves and they have absolute faith that
everything they are doing is contributing toward their
inevitable success. They are cool, relaxed, happy and
cheerful about their lives and their careers.

They know, deep in their hearts, that they are good at what
they do, and their customers know it as well. They are the champions, or superstars, of life, and you can be one of them by developing the same attitudes and attributes that they have.

Action Exercises:

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these
ideas into action:

First, resolve today to develop and cultivate an attitude of
calm, confident, positive expectations towards yourself,
your customers and your career. Expect the best!

Second, take complete control of your thinking and
concentrate on the solution rather than the problem. Look
for the good in every situation. Be positive and cheerful,
no matter what happens.

You can CHOOSE to take action or you can CHOOSE not to, one thing is for sure...... You will get a result one way or another, good or bad!!

What might have been........

While it's often fashionable to dwell upon what might have been, what's usually overlooked is that really and truly, it couldn't have.

Invariably, any romanticised versions of how things "might have been," are based upon fictionalised versions of the past.

Quality of your life........

The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of your relationships.

The quality of your relationships is directly proportional to the quality of your communication.

If you want a better a life, start communicating in a better way, especially the quality of your self talk.

Start with asking yourself a better quality question, Instead of asking "Why does this always happen to me?" ask "What could I do differently to avoid this happening again?"

10 Thoughts about Questions.

I’ve been talking a lot about questioning skills with my clients lately and thought you might enjoy some assorted thoughts.

1)    A good question can draw someone inward and . . . cause them to reflect, consider and even do so subconsciously through the awareness your question has created.

2)    Good questioning allows you to take control of a situation . . . without being controlling!

3)    Good questions create higher quality communication. Higher quality communication fosters superior relationships. Want superior relationships? Start by asking a better question!

4)    Good questions lead the recipient on a path of self discovery. You could tell someone something and perhaps they will consider it. If they discover it . . .  They own it!

5)    Good questions create high levels of rapport. Perhaps Voltaire was spot on when he said “Judge of a man not by his answers, but by his questions” What do your questions say about you?

6)    A good question changes the lens in which a person sees their world.

7)    A good question, asked of the wrong person, is just as ineffective as a poor question asked of the right person. We were taught, early on in sales, to go to the highest level of decision maker. What if we ask a brilliant question of this high level individual, but they are several layers removed from feeling the impact?

8)    A good question, at the front end of a response can offer the clarity needed for you to offer a meaningful response. It will also buy you time to craft your response.

9)    Good questions focus not only on discovering “the pain”, they focus on discovering the opportunities your client/prospect desires!

10)  A good question can move someone off the fence of indifference by igniting emotional buy in!

So there you have it…… “If you want a better answer, ask a better question.”

Saw this and thought of you.....

How many people do you know that are going through their lives like this?

If you're not happy change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it....

A glass of wine.....

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior’s challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.

"An insult is like a glass of wine. It only affects you if you accept it."

 

Build your own house......

 

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go & asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favour. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked!

What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then, with a shock, we realise we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we would do it much differently.

But, you cannot go back. You are the carpenter, and every day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Someone once said, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your attitude, and the choices you make today, help build the "house" you will live in tomorrow. Therefore, Build wisely!

A bird in the hand; It's your choice.....

Many years ago there lived a famous oracle who was uncanny in his ability to foretell the future. It seemed that he never made a mistake. Kings, queens, statesmen, generals, constantly consulted him about important future events.

One day two young boys fell to arguing about the oracle, and one said, “I bet I can trick him into making a mistake.”
“This is what I’ll do. I’ll capture a small bird, and holding it in my hand, will go before the oracle and ask him what it is that I hold.  If he says it is a bird, I will say, yes, but is it dead or alive?”
If the oracle says it is dead, I shall open my hand and the bird will fly away.
If he says it is alive, I shall crush the bird so that when I open my hand it will be dead.
Either way he will lose!”

So they went before the oracle, and the boy held forth his hand, saying, “What do I hold?”
The oracle saw a small feather sticking out between the boy’s fingers and replied, “It is a bird.”
The lad asked, “Is it dead or alive?”

The oracle hesitated a moment … a wise gleam came into his eyes, and he replied
“That’s up to you, son. It is in your hands.”

Questions or Answers

Today’s leaders are beginning to understand that there is more power in asking questions than in providing answers. Let’s take the following example to illustrate something on this. Two people are having a conversation. One is asking all the questions and the other is providing all the answers. Which one is in control of the conversation? 

Right! – The one who is asking the questions.

If you are the type of a leader who is providing answers to your people all day long, then they are in control of every conversation with you. Does that sound good? Maybe not!

As a leader, every time you provide an answer when you could have asked a question or questions, you have just saved your people from thinking. Save your people from thinking, and you save them from growing. Save your people from growing, and you are slowing the growth of your organisation. Also, which do you think your people will have more ownership with? – Your answer or their answer?

Remember, more ownership means more commitment, and more commitment in your people means that they will deliver (no matter what challenges come their way). Think about it. Your power as a leader comes from the questions you ask and not the answers you provide.

Vulnerability is Crucial to Great Leadership...

I was watching a financial show on telly recently and heard a commentator discuss a study that showed if you’d invested £1 in the stock market roughly 50 years ago; it would be worth a bit more that £13 today.  Your return would have been higher than inflation.

But if you’d invested that same £1 and taken your money out every time you got skittish about the market, you’d only have £0.03 to show for it today!  Why?  Because even though you may have avoided the downfalls, you would have missed the huge gains as well.

And therein lays the essential truth about vulnerability.

Vulnerability means there is a chance we will get hurt: financially, emotionally, psychologically, and physically.  No one wants to get hurt. 

Sometimes, in anticipation of being in a vulnerable position, we “cover up” and protect ourselves.  We pull out of the market, out of the launch, out of the deal, or out of a relationship…

But vulnerability also means that we have the opportunity to soar in ways that we will never soar if we do not put ourselves out there and take a chance. 

Being vulnerable means being exposed…to the elements, to attack, to others’ opinions, to great failure and also to life-altering success.

I believe great leaders, are prepared to be vulnerable knowing they have so much to gain. I believe that only by moving through our fears and allowing ourselves to be truly vulnerable do we open ourselves up to the possibility of greatness.

Let’s look at 3 reasons I think vulnerability is crucial to great leadership:

1. I believe great leaders know that the cause they serve is so much greater than them self.  Just by recognising this makes you vulnerable. Why?

• Because you’re acknowledging that there is so much at stake 
• Because a “cause greater than yourself” will likely have many people opposed to that cause in the same way you ardently support it - be they competitors, battlefield enemies, political opponents or the like

Great leaders accept this and fight for their cause anyway. 

2. You all know how strongly I believe in my core that great leadership starts with a clear, compelling vision.  When you passionately “own it” and lead toward it, that vision makes you vulnerable to attack from others who don’t share it and won’t support it. 

Your commitment to bring your vision to fruition makes you vulnerable, at the same time creating an opportunity for spectacular success for everyone involved.

3. I think being vulnerable is part of our humanity, and that great leaders are willing to let others see them as they truly are.  Allowing your team to see and appreciate the emotions you are experiencing as you choose to take on risk, or as you move past prior failures to a bold new vision, takes courage.

I believe when a leader shows their humanity, their basic, human vulnerability, it creates a much tighter, more trusting team.

It’s important to note that I don’t, in any way, equate vulnerability with weakness.  I would never advocate a weak position on the battlefield or suggest to a leader that s/he should look weak in any way.  Quite the opposite, strength of character and position are critical to balance vulnerability.